Rejecting Wisdom

1 Kings 12

Israel Refuses to Follow Rehoboam

1 Rehoboam went to Shechem. All of the people of Israel had gone there to make him king. 2 Jeroboam heard about it. He was the son of Nebat. Jeroboam was still in Egypt at that time. He had gone there for safety. He wanted to get away from King Solomon. But now he returned from Egypt. 3 So the people sent for Jeroboam. He and the whole community of Israel went to Rehoboam. They said to him. 4 "Your father put a heavy load on our shoulders. But now make our hard work easier. Make the heavy load on us lighter. Then we'll serve you." 5 Rehoboam answered, "Go away for three days. Then come back to me." So the people went away. 6 King Rehoboam asked the elders for advice. They had served his father Solomon while he was still living. Rehoboam asked them, "What advice can you give me? How should I answer these people?" 7 They replied, "Serve them today. Give them what they are asking for. Then they'll always serve you." 8 But Rehoboam didn't accept the advice the elders gave him. Instead, he asked for advice from the young men who had grown up with him and were now serving him. 9 He asked them, "What's your advice? How should I answer these people? They say to me, 'Make the load your father put on our shoulders lighter.' " 10 The young men who had grown up with him gave their answer. They replied, "These people say to you, 'Your father put a heavy load on our shoulders. Make it lighter.' Tell them, 'My little finger is stronger than my father's legs. 11 My father put a heavy load on your shoulders. But I'll make it even heavier. My father beat you with whips. But I'll beat you with bigger whips.' " 12 Three days later Jeroboam and all of the people returned to Rehoboam. That's because the king had said, "Come back to me in three days." 13 The king answered the people in a mean way. He didn't accept the advice the elders had given him. 14 Instead, he followed the advice of the young men. He said, "My father put a heavy load on your shoulders. But I'll make it even heavier. My father beat you with whips. But I'll beat you with bigger whips."

Dear Jesus,

Self deception seems to be the theme of my studies lately. And that gives me one big "Uh-oh." What am I deceived about? I think I'm catching a glimpse of the lesson that You are trying to wake me up about.

In this passage there is a clear account of a man that is self deceived. He says he is seeking an answer, but when one is given that he doesn't like, he continues to search until he finds the one that fits to his own selfish desires.

Rehoboam needs an answer, and he turns to the "elders."

In scripture- wisdom is often attributed with age. (job 12:12- "Wisdom is with aged men, With long life is understanding., Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child) In the letters to Timothy, Paul encourages Timothy to have the older teach the younger.

The elders speak wisdom. They give the advice that the people wanted to hear. It was advice to be compassionate and understanding, but Rehoboam doesn't want that... so he continues to search. He seeks the young men, and their "wisdom" is foolishness. They tell him what he wants to hear, and what the people will reject him for.

As an outsider, a reader of scripture, we can see that it is all a part of God's plan. That God is the one that causes him to reject the wise counsel so that he will be rejected by Israel. But that isn't the view we get in our own lives. I wonder what situations I am in that I have rejected advice because I wanted to hear what I wanted to hear....

Lord, Give me the wisdom to hear Your wisdom and to know Your leading and to accept it. Help me to reject the wisdom of the foolish. I desire to follow Your ways.

1 Kings 6

Solomon Builds the Temple

1 Solomon began to build the temple of the Lord. It was 480 years after the people of Israel had come out of Egypt. It was in the fourth year of Solomon's rule over Israel. He started in the second month. That was the month of Ziv.

2 The temple King Solomon built for the LORD was 90 feet long. It was 30 feet wide. And it was 45 feet high.

3 The temple had a porch in front of the main hall. The porch was as wide as the temple itself. It was 30 feet wide. It came out 15 feet from the front of the temple.

4 Solomon made narrow windows high up in the temple walls.

5 He built side rooms around the temple. They were built against the walls of the main hall and the Most Holy Room.

6 On the first floor the side rooms were seven and a half feet wide. On the second floor they were nine feet wide. And on the third floor they were ten and a half feet wide. Solomon made the walls of the temple thinner as they went up floor by floor. The result was ledges along the walls. So the floor beams of the side rooms rested on the ledges. The beams didn't go into the temple walls.

7 All of the stones that were used for building the temple were shaped where they were cut. So hammers, chisels and other iron tools couldn't be heard where the temple was being built.

Letter from a Friend

Hi Friend~ I am going to continue to pray and ask God for a verse for you or to even confirm if this was the best choice to send to you. However, this morning just sitting with the Lord I read

Psalm 135:5-6

⁵For I know that the LORD is great,
and that our Lord is above all gods.
⁶ Whatever the LORD pleases, he does,
in heaven and on earth,
in the seas and all deeps.

And I got to thinking with this that our Lord, our Savior does whatever He pleases to do. He allows all things for His pleasure. He has the blimps perspective on the Rose parade sort of speak. From beginning to the end He sees it. We see just the float that just passed us, the one in front of us, and the front of the one coming our way. He sees the entire parade happening at the same time. I got to thinking that if it pleases Him then it should please me as well. If it’s what he wants then it SHOULD be what I want. So why the often struggle in our heart. Romans 12 tells us the will of God is good and acceptable and perfect. We want to believe this and surrender to this but our flesh rages war against this truth. I concluded all I know how to do and all I know to tell anyone else is to take it to the cross. Unsurrendered hearts need to be broken at the cross, tears need to be shed, and the brokenness of a doubting heart needs to be left at the cross. Repentance of the sin so the healing can come is where this all needs to start. Not once in our life but every time it comes – we need to take it to the cross. Will we ever be perfected in this. I really don’t know if that will happen here on earth. I know it happens for moments at a time but a lifestyle of this not so sure, as I’ve yet to be able to say it is true of me – SO take it to the cross is what I will continue to do.

I had the AHA moment thinking that we have become a people who have organized the Lord right out of our lives, our churches – everything. Don’t get me wrong plans are great, organization is good. But we have so come to know it like the back of our hands that we have learned it to perfection and most things get done without ever really considering what He thinks on the subject. When we have not peace we view it as opposition from the enemy, instead of the truth that we have veered off His path and now walk without Him. I firmly believe that He is desperately trying to teach us how to really walk with Him. To not be in the know of the steps down the road, only the one in the here and now. Total dependence on our Lord who has a good and perfect plan for us. We continue to buck up against this training and discipline in our lives that soon will be the very thing that will save us as the days grow darker.

So in conclusion of this time spent with the Lord this morning with this whole thought process. I will purpose to see what looks hard to me and impossible in my mind, as my Jesus doing what He pleases in my life because and trusting that He comes from a heart of pure untainted love towards me. Just some random thoughts this morning that when I was finished thought of you and that maybe this just might be the verse I have been praying for you.

This is My Prayer

2 Samuel 19:14 So the hearts of all of the men of Judah were turned toward David. All of them had the same purpose in mind. They sent a message to the king. It said, "We want you to come back.

God, I want all my principals, students, parents of students, and coworkers to have this message on their tongue for me :) God, turn the heart of the people towards me that I might be rehired for next year.

Thoughts on 2 Samuel 19

1 Someone told Joab, "The king is sobbing over Absalom. He's filled with sadness because his son has died."

2 The army had won a great battle that day. But their joy turned into sadness. That's because someone had told the troops, "The king is filled with sorrow because his son is dead."

3 The men came quietly into the city that day. They were like fighting men who are ashamed because they've run away from a battle.

4 The king covered his face. He sobbed out loud, "My son Absalom! Absalom, my son, my son!"

5 Then Joab went into the king's house. He said to him, "Today you have made all of your men feel ashamed. They have just saved your life. They have saved the lives of your sons and daughters. And they have saved the lives of your wives and concubines.

6 "You love those who hate you. You hate those who love you. The commanders and their troops don't mean anything to you. You made that very clear today. I can see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead.

7 "Now go out there and cheer up your men. If you don't, you won't have any of them left with you by sunset. That will be worse for you than all of the troubles you have ever had in your whole life. That's what I promise you with an oath in the LORD's name."

Isn't it interesting how we can so often rejoice in the wrong victories. As I read this passage I am filled with a deep regret for the times that I have missed the boat on showing my appreciation to the right people for the right thing. The times that I have overlooked the Godly, for the ungodly. It reminds me of a story I have heard over and over from various teachers about the missionary couple that returns from the mission field after many years and no one is there to meet them as they enter the country. Expecting that someone will be there at each destination until they reach their home and they realize that no one is there, no one to greet them, no one to thank them and congratulate for a job well done.

This is a passage that as I read, I am filled with a stirring in my heart, but I don't really understand it.

Lord, what do you want me to understand from this passage?

The Life I Want to Live

Psalm 26

A psalm of David.

1 Lord, when you hand down your sentence, let it be in my favor. I have lived without blame. I have trusted in the Lord. I have never doubted him.

2 Lord, test me. Try me out. Look deep down into my heart and mind.

3 Your love is always with me. I have always lived by your truth.

4 I don't spend time with people who tell lies. I don't keep company with pretenders.

5 I hate to be with a group of sinful people. I refuse to spend time with those who are evil.

6 I wash my hands to show that I'm not guilty. Lord, I come near your altar.

7 I shout my praise to you. I tell about all the wonderful things you have done.

8 Lord, I love the house where you live. I love the place where your glory is.

9 Don't destroy me together with sinners. Don't take my life away along with murderers.

10 Their hands are always planning to do evil. Their right hands are full of money that bought them off.

11 But I live without blame. Set me free and show me your favor.

12 My feet stand on level ground. In the whole community I will praise the Lord.

I want to say these things! How do I make this true of me this side of heaven? I can't say that I am blameless. And what does it mean to say, "I hate to be with a group of sinful people?" You Jesus, spent time with tax-gatherers and prostitutes and people that were sinners... that was Your ministry. Lord, help me to be more like You.

Defeat Following Victory

OK Lord, as I continue to read about the life of David, I have to chuckle that just at a time when he is learning to trust in You and to let You be his defender, he takes matters into his own hands and he flees to Ziklag. He isn't trusting in You there. He is fighting the battles against his enemies but lying to Achish about what he is doing. Lord, help me to continue to trust in You and do things Your way!

Letting God be Your Defender

Psalm 56

God, show me your favor. Men are chasing me. All day long they keep attacking me.

2 Those who tell lies about me chase me all day long. Many proud people are attacking me.

3 When I'm afraid, I will trust in you.

4 I trust in God. I praise his word. I trust in God. I will not be afraid. What can people do to me?

5 All day long they twist my words. They are always making plans to harm me.

6 They get together and hide. They watch my steps. They hope to kill me.

7 Make sure you don't let them escape. God, bring down the nations in your anger.

8 Write down my poem of sadness. List my tears on your scroll. Aren't you making a record of them?

9 My enemies will turn back when I call out to you for help. Then I will know that God is on my side.

10 I trust in God. I praise his word. I trust in the Lord. I praise his word.

11 I trust in God. I will not be afraid. What can mere men do to me?

Psalm 120:1-4 I call out to the LORD when I'm in trouble, and he answers me. Lord, save me from people whose lips tell lies. Save me from people whose tongues don't tell the truth. What will the LORD do to you, you lying tongue? And what more will he do? He will punish you with the sharp arrows of a soldier. He will punish you with burning wood from a desert tree.

1 Samuel 25:26 "Sir, the LORD has kept you from killing Nabal and his men. He has kept you from using your own hands to get even. May what's about to happen to Nabal happen to all of your enemies. May it also happen to everyone who wants to harm you. And may it happen just as surely as the LORD and you are alive

1 Samuel 26:10 You can be sure that the LORD lives," he said. "And you can be just as sure that the LORD himself will strike Saul down. Perhaps he'll die a natural death. Or perhaps he'll go into battle and be killed.

Dear Lord,

I have been reading about the life of David and the thing that continues to cross my mind is how David trusted You to be his defender. He didn't take matters into his own hands, he waited on you to vindicate him. I know that is what You want for me, You want me to trust in You to be my defender. To raise me up to the place You have chosen me to be, at the time of Your choosing.

I have worked for my school district for 8 years. I have taught my students faithfully, learning more and more everyday about how to be better at my job. And although it has been 8 years, I am still a temporary teacher. I am still subject to lay-off at the end of every year.

As I read these passages about the life of David and how he waited for You to raise him up to the place and position You anointed him for, I can only hope that You will be my defender. I hope and pray that this will be the year that You will change my circumstance. That my value will be seen and that You will reward me for my faithfulness by making me permanent. Oh Lord, I ask that this will be the year, it seems impossible, but you are the God that makes the impossible possible.

1 Samuel 26:23-25 "The LORD rewards everyone for doing what is right and being faithful. He handed you over to me today. But I wouldn't lay a hand on you. You are the LORD's anointed king. Today I thought your life had great value. In the same way, may the LORD think of my life as having great value. May he save me from all trouble." Then Saul said to David, "My son David, may the LORD bless you. You will do great things. You will also have great success." So David went on his way. And Saul returned home.

God, please, bless me that I may do great things for my students in Jesus' name.

When Nobody is There

I have been writing this blog for awhile now having created it to remain in anonymity. Why I write it on the internet instead of on Word I can't answer. I started the blog to make a place to write and to share my thoughts and ideas. But what I found is that I wasn't authentic when I knew someone was reading those thoughts and ideas. So I created this blog didn't tell anyone about it, because I didn't want it read, yet connecting it to my other blog so people might be able to find it. So there it is, my desire to be real and my desire to be acknowledged battling it out to see which is the more authentic version of myself. What do I really hope for? Acknowledgement that my words are effecting others, or for the desire to pour my heart out authentically, truly, and honestly before God?

I look for comments and hope someone has read my words and have been encouraged, and hope for none at the same time so that I can continue to write and be real about what I think and how I feel. So is anybody there? I hope that you are, but I hope that it remains a mystery and that I can never know you are there.

Inspiration

Inspiration is a funny and elusive thing. There are times when it swings in like the wind and it blows all around filling those around with strength, passion and a will to move forward. But if missed, it will blow out the flame that it once fanned leaving a smoldering wick that does nothing but send up a trail of smoke until the ember is completely dead.

For me, writing works like that. There are times that I think about all the things I want to say and I am filled with the exact words... formulating sentences in my mind, sentences that are filled with the magic they create within my own head. If I do not grab a hold of that inspiration at the moment I have caught it, it slips away leaving me with nothing left to say.

I imagine Elijah, sitting in the cave on the heals of his greatest spiritual victory and yet he is feeling sorry for himself and hiding from his own fears. He is looking for something that God doesn't want to give him. He is looking for something spectacular, but it is something small and insignificant that is used to catch his attention. Jonah ran from God and God caught a hold of him sending him reluctantly in the right direction, moving him forward to lead the greatest revival the world may have ever seen. But that wasn't enough to make Jonah happy. He went away and pouted, missing the greatness that God had done.

I have so many missed opportunities in my life. I so easily allow the distractions of my day to sweep me away and cause me to lose my inspiration. The truth is, I catch it in strange places, and I often find myself unprepared to do anything with it. I pray to remember the words that God has given me and yet they fade quietly into the recess of my mind. It leaves me hoping someday the color of ink will hit the page and those images will spring back to life, but alas, I think they are gone forever.

So how was it for the writers of scripture? When they sat down to record a story or write a letter, did they understand the significance of what they were doing? Did they ever miss their opportunity distracted by the cares of the world? Did they hear the voice of God actually speaking as they wrote or was it just thoughts going down on paper without any understanding that their words were going to be immortalized for eternity? When David wrote of his difficult time of despair and discouragement so great that his heart felt that it would burst- did he understand that those words were pointing a way to the Messiah? That he was actually feeling the feelings that His savior would feel in times to come? When Paul wrote his letters to Timothy or to the churches around the known world, was he aware of the fact that one day those letters would be bound together to effect the world forevermore? What must it have been like to hear the voice of God and write down the words He was telling them?

I think I can only have a glimpse of what it was they were feeling or thinking. I know that my words aren't scripture and they won't ever have the impact that the Peter's words have. I do know when however, the words aren't mine; when the images that flow from my brain to may paper can't possibly have anything to do with me. I become a catalyst, thankful that this time, the inspiration didn't pass me by.

Thank You Lord for 2010

Dear Jesus,

2010... who would have believed? I remember when I was younger and I thought about the 21st century. I actually thought I would be too old to enjoy it. What was I thinking? When Y2K came around, I wasn't even 40! The truth is, the first decade of 2000 has been when some of the biggest blessings of my life have come.

So as the first decade of this new century is coming to a close, I want to continue my practice of writing this thank you letter to my Savior and my best friend. (Thanks Julie K for teaching me this practice).

The year didn't start out with a great blessing... we were burglarized at the beginning of 2010. Though they didn't get much as far as the number of things, they did steal my feeling of safety and security. This year has seen many upgrades in the Hernandez household like a burglar alarm, new windows, a fence and replacing the items that were stolen. It has been an expensive year.

One of the greatest achievements and blessings has been our 6th wedding anniversary this year. Can you believe it? SIX years!! We haven't been completely sure that we would ever make it this far, but wow... what a great blessing my husband has been in my life. There are moments when I wonder, "What was I thinking? but the reality is that my marriage has been the single greatest blessing of my life. My husband, has grown to be such a good friend and faithful companion. He has loved me and walked with me through the trials of life that have plagued us and through the blessings of life that have carried us through.

Once again, I am thankful that 2010 ended with a job for me. I know so many people that in 2010 they faced the challenge of unemployment. Why God has been so merciful upon us, I don't understand, but I rejoice in it! Not only am I thankful that I have a job, I am thankful for my job. Teaching Kindergarten at Price School has been so rewarding. I am constantly learning new things through the eyes of the precious 5 year olds that are in my class. They have taught me to laugh at myself, to be patient, and to always look at the best side of a person. It is amazing how every year I come to love my students and I see the great potential they hold and I am in awe that God has given me the privilege to be a part of their life. I remember my kindergarten teacher very well, and I would like to think that my students will remember me with the same fondness I feel for Mrs. Bates.

I am thankful for my health. I had an old friend suffer a major illness this last year... final diagnosis- I haven't heard, but it put him in the hospital for several weeks and it gives me cause to say thank You Jesus that I am well. Also, the end of this year a dear friend and sister in the Lord began her battle with lymphoma. It came out of no where and it makes me thankful for the fact that God's hand has been upon my body and the body of my husband. I am also thankful that 2010 has continued to be a year of healthy living. Working out and eating right have continued to be a part of my daily life, (though if I am not careful, I will not be able to say that about 2011).

I am thankful that God has made His plan for the growing of our family a reality. We have started the adoption process and I am very excited about that. God gave me a promise a long time ago that I never let myself acknowledge until now. He promised me children "in my old age." The truth is, I let myself believe that my students were the subject of that promise, but I am now seeing the reality of the promise come to fruition. Hopefully 2011 will have a new Hernandez to rejoice over.

My life has changed a lot in the last decade and I sometimes miss the life that I had a single woman. Paul really knew what he was talking about when he stated that those that are married have to worry about pleasing their spouse and it takes away from the amount of time and energy that I can give to serving the Lord. But with marriage there is incredible blessings. I often am asked, "When are you coming back to ministry?" or "What happened to the 'old' Karen?" Well, I am still in the ministry, but my ministry is within my own family, my own household and it is very fulfilling. Sometimes I miss ministry outside my home, serving the church body, but I am fully committed to working the ministry inside my home first. Some people can do both, and I hope to be one of those people someday, but thankfully, God has given me contentment to serve just where I am.

I am thankful for the little pockets of time that I can carve out with my friends. Susan and I had a weekend away for the first time since I was married. That was a huge blessing. Not only a blessing to just sit and relax for awhile, but to share it together was so fantastic. It is just so great to spend time with a friend that knows you so completely you don't have to explain yourself. And every time we talk, it is like picking up a conversation from the day before even if it is has been longer since we actually talked. I love my friend and I am thankful to have her in my life even if the challenges and business of life make it difficult to see each other as much as we used to.

I am thankful for my family. They have been such a great support system for us and every time I spend time with them I rejoice that they are in my life. My dad celebrated his 74th bday (and is still working full time at his second career) this last year and I am extremely thankful for his health and for him! My mom has suffered some difficulties this year, but has walked through them with an increasing trust and certainty that God is still on the throne. I am thankful for her example of being a woman of prayer. Every time I am down or discouraged, she prays with me and I love that about her. Then of course, there is my brother. What can I say except I wish I could be him when I grow up! He is my hero in so many ways and I love him more than words can express.

Thank you Jesus for the many things that You have been teaching me this year. Thank you for the way that You have walked beside me, held my hand, and brought me through the hard stuff. Thank you for your provision and for the fact that You never give up on me when I am less than faithful to You!! I love You Jesus and above all, I am thankful for the way that You continue to work in my heart and my life and You continue to love me. I look forward to the day when I will be with You in Paradise, but until then, I am thankful for the days that You have given me here on earth.

I love You,

Karen

When the Message is Hard

1 Samuel 3:15-18 Samuel lay down until morning. Then he opened the doors of the LORD's house. He was afraid to tell Eli about the vision he had received. But Eli called out to him. He said, "Samuel, my son." Samuel answered, "Here I am." "What did the LORD say to you?" Eli asked. "Don't hide from me anything He told you. If you do, may God punish you greatly." So Samuel told him everything. He didn't hide anything from him. Then Eli said, "He is the Lord. Let him do what He thinks is best."

Dear Friend,

I love this passage. I love the way God spoke to Samuel though he was but a youth. I love that Eli accepted the message from young Samuel with such humility. God hadn't spoken to Eli (the priest) in quite a while and as the reader, I can understand why- there was sin in Eli's house that he was not willing to properly deal with, yet he heard and understood what God was saying. He was willing to accept that God is God. How difficult it is to hear something from the Lord that is hard. I often times wish I had never heard it, and sometimes I will wrestle with it before being obedient. (Am I alone?)

But there is a flip side to the passage that I really hate...sometimes the message that God is telling us isn't for us, it is to give to someone else and that is even harder. I don't know about you, but I don't want to come off as ____ (sanctimonious, judgemental, crazy... you fill in the blank). It is never easy to say the hard things to someone you love. What if God is calling you to tell someone that Jesus IS the only way? That their religion won't save them. That the lifestyle they have chosen is wrong. That they will spend an eternity in hell unless they repent and believe on the Lord. Or what if God is calling you to chastise a brother/sister? Are you willing to be like Samuel and say the hard things- without enjoying it.

There are two issues here that Samuel did right. First, he obeyed. It was the first time God spoke to him and he got it right the first time. He spoke the truth. He said what needed to be said. But he did it because he loved Eli. He did it with a loving heart and a desire to do the right thing. He didn't enjoy it.

I don't like to share the truth when it is painful. I have had victory in this area, and I have fallen very short. I wonder what would have happened in the ministry of Samuel if he had not chosen to do the right thing? Would God have blessed him as he did? Of course we will never know in the life of Samuel because he made the right choice. Like any other sin, when I refuse to obey, my heart is hardened to God's voice and at some point He may choose another messenger and I might lose out on a blessing. Isaiah gives us a really great promise: , "In repentance and rest you will be saved, in quietness and trust is your salvation" Oh how I love that! But wait, he wasn't done- the verse ends with, "But you were not willing." ouch! (Isaiah 30:15). O what a blessing I can find when I am willing, and what blessings am I losing out on because I'm not?

Reflections on 1 Samuel 1

1 Samuel 1:15b-16

"...I was telling the LORD all of my troubles. Don't think of me as an evil woman. I've been praying here because I'm very sad. My pain is so great."

I love that Hannah took her troubles to the Lord. She wanted children, she didn't have any for the Lord had closed her womb. The one desire of her heart, God was not fulfilling. Why does God not fulfill our Godly desires?

I was 40 when I was married. I wanted to be married before then, but God prevented it. I want to be a mother, but we have been married 7 years, and now I'm 47 and God has prevented me from becoming a mother. I would like to know why. I would like God to grant me the desires of my heart. So why not? Having children is a godly desire, but it isn't what God has for me.

We are now pursuing adoption. It isn't an easy process and I sometimes feel discouraged and overwhelmed by the whole process... Dear Jesus, what are you trying to teach me? What do you have for me? Will you speak to my situation, guide us in your will and make us to see what we have to do.

Thoughts on Psalm 33

January 4, 2011

Psalm 33:8-15

Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the people of the world revere him. For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm. The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance. From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth-- he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.

16 No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. 17 A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. 18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, 19 to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. 20 We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. 21 In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. 22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

Have you ever thought about the things that have made you who you are? The good and the bad things; the right and wrong choices you have made; the circumstances that were perfect and the ones that were not; all of these things culminated to make you the person that you see in the mirror every morning.

Do you ever wonder how much of your life is really in God’s hands? Where does my freewill end and His sovereignty begin? Those wrong choices that I have made, the sins that I have committed, they are all a part of what makes me- me, but they weren’t all a part of God’s plan for my life. He didn’t plan my sin, but He knew about it, before I made the decision to sin.

I imagine my life as ruins; something that was so beautiful and so amazing that has become something it never was meant to be. Yet as ruinous as it is, it is good. God has made it good. He has made my life what He wanted. God makes something beautiful out of ashes, but what was it before it was ashes? Maybe it was something beautiful. There is good that comes from bad and bad that comes from good. All I can do is hope that the it all brings glory to the One that saved me

Deuteronomy 32

1 Listen, O heavens, and I will speak; hear, O earth, the words of my mouth.

2 Let my teaching fall like rain and my words descend like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants.

3 I will proclaim the name of the LORD. Oh, praise the greatness of our God!

4 He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just. A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he

Deuteronomy 31:8

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

Psalm 116

Psalm 116

1 I love the LORD, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy.

2 Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.

3 The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me; I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.

4 Then I called on the name of the LORD: "O LORD, save me!"

5 The LORD is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.

6 The LORD protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.

7 Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.

8 For you, O LORD, have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,

9 that I may walk before the LORD in the land of the living.

10 I believed; therefore I said, "I am greatly afflicted."

11 And in my dismay I said, "All men are liars."

12 How can I repay the LORD for all his goodness to me?

13 I will lift up the cup of salvation and call on the name of the LORD.

14 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people.

15 Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints.

16 O LORD, truly I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your maidservant; you have freed me from my chains.

17 I will sacrifice a thank offering to you and call on the name of the LORD.

18 I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all his people,

19 in the courts of the house of the LORD-- in your midst, O Jerusalem. Praise the LORD.

"For You O Lord have delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living."

Why has God done great things in my life? Taught me lessons, brought me through trials, made me to rise above the circumstances and find victory? Because He wants me to be a witness. He wants me to proclaim to others what great things He has done for me. God is an awesome God. He wants the world to know and I am one of the messengers!

Reflections on Numbers 8

Numbers 8:7-11

…and said to the entire Israelite assembly, "The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. If the LORD is pleased with us,[then is implied] he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. Only do not rebel against the LORD. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be afraid of them." But the whole assembly talked about stoning them. Then the glory of the LORD appeared at the Tent of Meeting to all the Israelites. The LORD said to Moses, "How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the miraculous signs I have performed among them?

Dear Lord,

Here I am again trying not to worry about not getting an interview at xxx. Osmel has asked me everyday if I have head anything and I don’t want to tell him about xxxxx getting an interview. My passage once again is about not complaining. TRUST! That is the message. The Children of Israel were fearful and untrusting despite the way the Lord had provided for them and had given them shelter. They complained and grumbled and now they were wanting to stone those that were trying to encourage them to believe in what God could do, would do, and had promised to do.

The message of encouragement was to not be afraid but trust. Those words are ringing in my ear unlike the phone call that I am hoping for. School starts on Monday and I had really hoped for something so I could start on the first day of school. I had hoped for a classroom that was opening before the kids started. I HATE taking someone else’s class. Oh God… help me to be strong and trust in YOU.

Lord, I give this to You and I ask that You work it out. As You know, my desire is to have a full time position. My desire is to be in the classroom. My desire is that You would give me a job before the school year starts, but I give it all to You and ask that You would work it out in the way that is best for me. Help me Lord to trust You. To trust that You have my best interest in mind, and that You really know what is best for me.

Reflections on Deuteronomy 8

Deuteronomy 8:1-6

Be careful to follow every command I am giving you today, so that you may live and increase and may enter and possess the land that the LORD promised on oath to your forefathers. Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you. Observe the commands of the LORD your God, walking in his ways and revering him.

Dear Lord,

I know that these years of testing at the end of each year are to teach me to follow You… but can I please have a job? I am afraid that You don’t have a that for me this year, and I don’t know why but that scares me. I want to have a classroom… and my head knows that whatever You provide is what is best, I need to trust right now. God, I ask for a full time position.

Deuteronomy 8:7-11 For the LORD your God is bringing you into a good land--a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing in the valleys and hills; a land with wheat and barley, vines and fig trees, pomegranates, olive oil and honey; a land where bread will not be scarce and you will lack nothing; a land where the rocks are iron and you can dig copper out of the hills. When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day.

Dear Lord,

I pray that this is Your way of confirming that I will indeed get a job. I don’t know if this is true, for this period, but I do know You are faithful. This was the passage I was meant to read today, I ask that You would make it true. That the wilderness experience is over and that today You are telling me, I am to enter into the promised land… a new phase with our children coming into our home and starting a family.

Deuteronomy 8:12-20

Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down,

and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today. If you ever forget the LORD your God and follow other gods and worship and bow down to them, I testify against you today that you will surely be destroyed. Like the nations the LORD destroyed before you, so you will be destroyed for not obeying the LORD your God.

Dear Lord,

I am thankful, that You take every precaution to prevent our hearts from turning away from You. My heart’s desire is that I would never put anything before You, though I know I am just as Israel is… I remember my prayer when getting married was to never put my husband before You. I ask today, that if You do bless us with a family, me with a job, that You would continue to do the work to keep my heart dependent upon You and to keep You as first in my heart and in my life. I love You Lord and though I am unfaithful in my heart of hearts, it is Your grace and Your patience that keeps me humble. As I am praying this prayer, I am afraid of what I might do, and how You might respond to answer my prayer.

I am fully aware of what I am without You- nothing.

I am fully aware of what I would have without You- nothing.

I am fully aware that without You life is worth- nothing.

Deuteronomy 9:1-3 Hear, O Israel. You are now about to cross the Jordan to go in and dispossess nations greater and stronger than you, with large cities that have walls up to the sky. The people are strong and tall--Anakites! You know about them and have heard it said: "Who can stand up against the Anakites?" But be assured today that the LORD your God is the one who goes across ahead of you like a devouring fire. He will destroy them; he will subdue them before you. And you will drive them out and annihilate them quickly, as the LORD has promised you.

Dear Lord,

I love this passage. It confirms that without You we can do nothing, but with You nothing is impossible. My job situation seems impossible… but it isn’t. I am hoping that these passages from Deuteronomy 8 and 9 are in fact a message for me. Help me to trust You Lord when things seem impossible!

Deuteronomy 9:4-6

After the LORD your God has driven them out before you, do not say to yourself, "The LORD has brought me here to take possession of this land because of my righteousness." No, it is on account of the wickedness of these nations that the LORD is going to drive them out before you. It is not because of your righteousness or your integrity that you are going in to take possession of their land; but on account of the wickedness of these nations, the LORD your God will drive them out before you, to accomplish what he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Understand, then, that it is not because of your righteousness that the LORD your God is giving you this good land to possess, for you are a stiff-necked people.

Dear Lord… I love that it is not about me or my deserving of anything… it is about You and Your glory and Your grace. Having said that, I am hoping that You are speaking to me!

I love You Lord,

Karen

Background: The Promise of Something Great... (this is a taste of the introduction)

I continued to throw myself into ministry. I began teaching in a Christian School and I started working in Children’s Ministry Leadership at my church. Life was good. It was rich. I was content (most of the time). God was using me and I could see it, I could feel it, I was moving forward. It is only in the Lord that we can move forward as we wait. I was waiting on God to do a work in my life. During these years, God did 3 significant things for me to help me on my way, to confirm to me that He had a plan and a good work for my life.
A word from God: There was a friend of mine that came to me and told me that he felt God has spoken to him about me:
Joel 2:23-25- so rejoice, O sons of Zion, and be glad in the LORD your God; For He has given you the early rain for your vindication. And He has poured down for you the rain, the early and latter rain as before. The threshing floors will be full of grain, and the vats will overflow with the new wine and oil. "Then I will make up to you for the years That the swarming locust has eaten, The creeping locust, the stripping locust and the gnawing locust, My great army which I sent among you.
It took me awhile for me to understand this passage and what it meant for me. What a strange word. As I meditated upon it, and prayed over it, I realized- it was a promise of restoration. The relationship that I had been in with Mr. Wrong, and the things that I needed to purge as a result, would be redeemed. There would be blessings to come. The Lord had given to me other messages along the way that helped me to understand that this was a promise of hope for marriage. This empowered me, strengthened my resolve, helped me to press on, and increased my desire to wait for God’s best and never settle. Never settle!
One of the things that God used was through a gift received from a friend. She had a book with beautiful illustrations. She cut the illustrations from the book, framed them, and gave them to the ministry leaders as gifts. She assigned each frame a number, wrapped them up and we cast lots for the pictures. The picture that I received was of a black man who was encased in stone, like a statue being carved and the hand of God was chiseling him, taking his form out of the block of stone and making it into something to be beautiful. I remember when I received it, I cried, because I thought it was God’s way of confirming to me, that He was chiseling my life, making me into something useful for His good pleasure. I placed the picture on the mantle in the living room where it remains to this day.
The final word from God was through my quiet time. I was reading in the book of 1 Kings and when I read the following passage:
1 Kings 6:7 The house, while it was being built, was built of stone prepared at the quarry, and there was neither hammer nor axe nor any iron tool heard in the house while it was being built.
God is so funny! I love the way He works and the way He makes His word alive! As I read the verse, I knew there was something there for me. I could hear His voice, He was prompting me to dig and to meditate. As I did, my attention was drawn to the picture of the man on the mantle, the man being chiseled. OK, I am starting to get it. This isn’t me; this is he, it is my husband. He is being chiseled for me. In fact, we are being chiseled simultaneously to bring us together, ready for one another. As I continued to meditate I came to understand something about this passage; the stones were being chiseled, formed, and quarried away from the site of the temple. They were not even being quarried together. They were being formed away from each other so there would be no sound of an axe, or hammer, or any other tool; and when they came together, there would be a perfect fit. Most of my friends were married way before I was, I knew how hard marriage could be, therefore, I knew that the more work God had to do to me in the middle of my marriage, the harder it would be. That made the waiting easier. God had given me a beautiful picture and with it, a promise. Once again felt hopeful regarding my future, my husband, and my marriage. I didn’t know to whom, but I understood the fact that I probably didn’t know him yet, and if I did, we weren’t going to know what our future together was until the Lord had prepared us for one another. Now, my job was to NOT look for him, but to wait until the Lord brought us together.