Rejecting Wisdom

1 Kings 12

Israel Refuses to Follow Rehoboam

1 Rehoboam went to Shechem. All of the people of Israel had gone there to make him king. 2 Jeroboam heard about it. He was the son of Nebat. Jeroboam was still in Egypt at that time. He had gone there for safety. He wanted to get away from King Solomon. But now he returned from Egypt. 3 So the people sent for Jeroboam. He and the whole community of Israel went to Rehoboam. They said to him. 4 "Your father put a heavy load on our shoulders. But now make our hard work easier. Make the heavy load on us lighter. Then we'll serve you." 5 Rehoboam answered, "Go away for three days. Then come back to me." So the people went away. 6 King Rehoboam asked the elders for advice. They had served his father Solomon while he was still living. Rehoboam asked them, "What advice can you give me? How should I answer these people?" 7 They replied, "Serve them today. Give them what they are asking for. Then they'll always serve you." 8 But Rehoboam didn't accept the advice the elders gave him. Instead, he asked for advice from the young men who had grown up with him and were now serving him. 9 He asked them, "What's your advice? How should I answer these people? They say to me, 'Make the load your father put on our shoulders lighter.' " 10 The young men who had grown up with him gave their answer. They replied, "These people say to you, 'Your father put a heavy load on our shoulders. Make it lighter.' Tell them, 'My little finger is stronger than my father's legs. 11 My father put a heavy load on your shoulders. But I'll make it even heavier. My father beat you with whips. But I'll beat you with bigger whips.' " 12 Three days later Jeroboam and all of the people returned to Rehoboam. That's because the king had said, "Come back to me in three days." 13 The king answered the people in a mean way. He didn't accept the advice the elders had given him. 14 Instead, he followed the advice of the young men. He said, "My father put a heavy load on your shoulders. But I'll make it even heavier. My father beat you with whips. But I'll beat you with bigger whips."

Dear Jesus,

Self deception seems to be the theme of my studies lately. And that gives me one big "Uh-oh." What am I deceived about? I think I'm catching a glimpse of the lesson that You are trying to wake me up about.

In this passage there is a clear account of a man that is self deceived. He says he is seeking an answer, but when one is given that he doesn't like, he continues to search until he finds the one that fits to his own selfish desires.

Rehoboam needs an answer, and he turns to the "elders."

In scripture- wisdom is often attributed with age. (job 12:12- "Wisdom is with aged men, With long life is understanding., Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child) In the letters to Timothy, Paul encourages Timothy to have the older teach the younger.

The elders speak wisdom. They give the advice that the people wanted to hear. It was advice to be compassionate and understanding, but Rehoboam doesn't want that... so he continues to search. He seeks the young men, and their "wisdom" is foolishness. They tell him what he wants to hear, and what the people will reject him for.

As an outsider, a reader of scripture, we can see that it is all a part of God's plan. That God is the one that causes him to reject the wise counsel so that he will be rejected by Israel. But that isn't the view we get in our own lives. I wonder what situations I am in that I have rejected advice because I wanted to hear what I wanted to hear....

Lord, Give me the wisdom to hear Your wisdom and to know Your leading and to accept it. Help me to reject the wisdom of the foolish. I desire to follow Your ways.

1 Kings 6

Solomon Builds the Temple

1 Solomon began to build the temple of the Lord. It was 480 years after the people of Israel had come out of Egypt. It was in the fourth year of Solomon's rule over Israel. He started in the second month. That was the month of Ziv.

2 The temple King Solomon built for the LORD was 90 feet long. It was 30 feet wide. And it was 45 feet high.

3 The temple had a porch in front of the main hall. The porch was as wide as the temple itself. It was 30 feet wide. It came out 15 feet from the front of the temple.

4 Solomon made narrow windows high up in the temple walls.

5 He built side rooms around the temple. They were built against the walls of the main hall and the Most Holy Room.

6 On the first floor the side rooms were seven and a half feet wide. On the second floor they were nine feet wide. And on the third floor they were ten and a half feet wide. Solomon made the walls of the temple thinner as they went up floor by floor. The result was ledges along the walls. So the floor beams of the side rooms rested on the ledges. The beams didn't go into the temple walls.

7 All of the stones that were used for building the temple were shaped where they were cut. So hammers, chisels and other iron tools couldn't be heard where the temple was being built.

Letter from a Friend

Hi Friend~ I am going to continue to pray and ask God for a verse for you or to even confirm if this was the best choice to send to you. However, this morning just sitting with the Lord I read

Psalm 135:5-6

⁵For I know that the LORD is great,
and that our Lord is above all gods.
⁶ Whatever the LORD pleases, he does,
in heaven and on earth,
in the seas and all deeps.

And I got to thinking with this that our Lord, our Savior does whatever He pleases to do. He allows all things for His pleasure. He has the blimps perspective on the Rose parade sort of speak. From beginning to the end He sees it. We see just the float that just passed us, the one in front of us, and the front of the one coming our way. He sees the entire parade happening at the same time. I got to thinking that if it pleases Him then it should please me as well. If it’s what he wants then it SHOULD be what I want. So why the often struggle in our heart. Romans 12 tells us the will of God is good and acceptable and perfect. We want to believe this and surrender to this but our flesh rages war against this truth. I concluded all I know how to do and all I know to tell anyone else is to take it to the cross. Unsurrendered hearts need to be broken at the cross, tears need to be shed, and the brokenness of a doubting heart needs to be left at the cross. Repentance of the sin so the healing can come is where this all needs to start. Not once in our life but every time it comes – we need to take it to the cross. Will we ever be perfected in this. I really don’t know if that will happen here on earth. I know it happens for moments at a time but a lifestyle of this not so sure, as I’ve yet to be able to say it is true of me – SO take it to the cross is what I will continue to do.

I had the AHA moment thinking that we have become a people who have organized the Lord right out of our lives, our churches – everything. Don’t get me wrong plans are great, organization is good. But we have so come to know it like the back of our hands that we have learned it to perfection and most things get done without ever really considering what He thinks on the subject. When we have not peace we view it as opposition from the enemy, instead of the truth that we have veered off His path and now walk without Him. I firmly believe that He is desperately trying to teach us how to really walk with Him. To not be in the know of the steps down the road, only the one in the here and now. Total dependence on our Lord who has a good and perfect plan for us. We continue to buck up against this training and discipline in our lives that soon will be the very thing that will save us as the days grow darker.

So in conclusion of this time spent with the Lord this morning with this whole thought process. I will purpose to see what looks hard to me and impossible in my mind, as my Jesus doing what He pleases in my life because and trusting that He comes from a heart of pure untainted love towards me. Just some random thoughts this morning that when I was finished thought of you and that maybe this just might be the verse I have been praying for you.

This is My Prayer

2 Samuel 19:14 So the hearts of all of the men of Judah were turned toward David. All of them had the same purpose in mind. They sent a message to the king. It said, "We want you to come back.

God, I want all my principals, students, parents of students, and coworkers to have this message on their tongue for me :) God, turn the heart of the people towards me that I might be rehired for next year.

Thoughts on 2 Samuel 19

1 Someone told Joab, "The king is sobbing over Absalom. He's filled with sadness because his son has died."

2 The army had won a great battle that day. But their joy turned into sadness. That's because someone had told the troops, "The king is filled with sorrow because his son is dead."

3 The men came quietly into the city that day. They were like fighting men who are ashamed because they've run away from a battle.

4 The king covered his face. He sobbed out loud, "My son Absalom! Absalom, my son, my son!"

5 Then Joab went into the king's house. He said to him, "Today you have made all of your men feel ashamed. They have just saved your life. They have saved the lives of your sons and daughters. And they have saved the lives of your wives and concubines.

6 "You love those who hate you. You hate those who love you. The commanders and their troops don't mean anything to you. You made that very clear today. I can see that you would be pleased if Absalom were alive today and all of us were dead.

7 "Now go out there and cheer up your men. If you don't, you won't have any of them left with you by sunset. That will be worse for you than all of the troubles you have ever had in your whole life. That's what I promise you with an oath in the LORD's name."

Isn't it interesting how we can so often rejoice in the wrong victories. As I read this passage I am filled with a deep regret for the times that I have missed the boat on showing my appreciation to the right people for the right thing. The times that I have overlooked the Godly, for the ungodly. It reminds me of a story I have heard over and over from various teachers about the missionary couple that returns from the mission field after many years and no one is there to meet them as they enter the country. Expecting that someone will be there at each destination until they reach their home and they realize that no one is there, no one to greet them, no one to thank them and congratulate for a job well done.

This is a passage that as I read, I am filled with a stirring in my heart, but I don't really understand it.

Lord, what do you want me to understand from this passage?

The Life I Want to Live

Psalm 26

A psalm of David.

1 Lord, when you hand down your sentence, let it be in my favor. I have lived without blame. I have trusted in the Lord. I have never doubted him.

2 Lord, test me. Try me out. Look deep down into my heart and mind.

3 Your love is always with me. I have always lived by your truth.

4 I don't spend time with people who tell lies. I don't keep company with pretenders.

5 I hate to be with a group of sinful people. I refuse to spend time with those who are evil.

6 I wash my hands to show that I'm not guilty. Lord, I come near your altar.

7 I shout my praise to you. I tell about all the wonderful things you have done.

8 Lord, I love the house where you live. I love the place where your glory is.

9 Don't destroy me together with sinners. Don't take my life away along with murderers.

10 Their hands are always planning to do evil. Their right hands are full of money that bought them off.

11 But I live without blame. Set me free and show me your favor.

12 My feet stand on level ground. In the whole community I will praise the Lord.

I want to say these things! How do I make this true of me this side of heaven? I can't say that I am blameless. And what does it mean to say, "I hate to be with a group of sinful people?" You Jesus, spent time with tax-gatherers and prostitutes and people that were sinners... that was Your ministry. Lord, help me to be more like You.

Defeat Following Victory

OK Lord, as I continue to read about the life of David, I have to chuckle that just at a time when he is learning to trust in You and to let You be his defender, he takes matters into his own hands and he flees to Ziklag. He isn't trusting in You there. He is fighting the battles against his enemies but lying to Achish about what he is doing. Lord, help me to continue to trust in You and do things Your way!

Letting God be Your Defender

Psalm 56

God, show me your favor. Men are chasing me. All day long they keep attacking me.

2 Those who tell lies about me chase me all day long. Many proud people are attacking me.

3 When I'm afraid, I will trust in you.

4 I trust in God. I praise his word. I trust in God. I will not be afraid. What can people do to me?

5 All day long they twist my words. They are always making plans to harm me.

6 They get together and hide. They watch my steps. They hope to kill me.

7 Make sure you don't let them escape. God, bring down the nations in your anger.

8 Write down my poem of sadness. List my tears on your scroll. Aren't you making a record of them?

9 My enemies will turn back when I call out to you for help. Then I will know that God is on my side.

10 I trust in God. I praise his word. I trust in the Lord. I praise his word.

11 I trust in God. I will not be afraid. What can mere men do to me?

Psalm 120:1-4 I call out to the LORD when I'm in trouble, and he answers me. Lord, save me from people whose lips tell lies. Save me from people whose tongues don't tell the truth. What will the LORD do to you, you lying tongue? And what more will he do? He will punish you with the sharp arrows of a soldier. He will punish you with burning wood from a desert tree.

1 Samuel 25:26 "Sir, the LORD has kept you from killing Nabal and his men. He has kept you from using your own hands to get even. May what's about to happen to Nabal happen to all of your enemies. May it also happen to everyone who wants to harm you. And may it happen just as surely as the LORD and you are alive

1 Samuel 26:10 You can be sure that the LORD lives," he said. "And you can be just as sure that the LORD himself will strike Saul down. Perhaps he'll die a natural death. Or perhaps he'll go into battle and be killed.

Dear Lord,

I have been reading about the life of David and the thing that continues to cross my mind is how David trusted You to be his defender. He didn't take matters into his own hands, he waited on you to vindicate him. I know that is what You want for me, You want me to trust in You to be my defender. To raise me up to the place You have chosen me to be, at the time of Your choosing.

I have worked for my school district for 8 years. I have taught my students faithfully, learning more and more everyday about how to be better at my job. And although it has been 8 years, I am still a temporary teacher. I am still subject to lay-off at the end of every year.

As I read these passages about the life of David and how he waited for You to raise him up to the place and position You anointed him for, I can only hope that You will be my defender. I hope and pray that this will be the year that You will change my circumstance. That my value will be seen and that You will reward me for my faithfulness by making me permanent. Oh Lord, I ask that this will be the year, it seems impossible, but you are the God that makes the impossible possible.

1 Samuel 26:23-25 "The LORD rewards everyone for doing what is right and being faithful. He handed you over to me today. But I wouldn't lay a hand on you. You are the LORD's anointed king. Today I thought your life had great value. In the same way, may the LORD think of my life as having great value. May he save me from all trouble." Then Saul said to David, "My son David, may the LORD bless you. You will do great things. You will also have great success." So David went on his way. And Saul returned home.

God, please, bless me that I may do great things for my students in Jesus' name.

When Nobody is There

I have been writing this blog for awhile now having created it to remain in anonymity. Why I write it on the internet instead of on Word I can't answer. I started the blog to make a place to write and to share my thoughts and ideas. But what I found is that I wasn't authentic when I knew someone was reading those thoughts and ideas. So I created this blog didn't tell anyone about it, because I didn't want it read, yet connecting it to my other blog so people might be able to find it. So there it is, my desire to be real and my desire to be acknowledged battling it out to see which is the more authentic version of myself. What do I really hope for? Acknowledgement that my words are effecting others, or for the desire to pour my heart out authentically, truly, and honestly before God?

I look for comments and hope someone has read my words and have been encouraged, and hope for none at the same time so that I can continue to write and be real about what I think and how I feel. So is anybody there? I hope that you are, but I hope that it remains a mystery and that I can never know you are there.

Inspiration

Inspiration is a funny and elusive thing. There are times when it swings in like the wind and it blows all around filling those around with strength, passion and a will to move forward. But if missed, it will blow out the flame that it once fanned leaving a smoldering wick that does nothing but send up a trail of smoke until the ember is completely dead.

For me, writing works like that. There are times that I think about all the things I want to say and I am filled with the exact words... formulating sentences in my mind, sentences that are filled with the magic they create within my own head. If I do not grab a hold of that inspiration at the moment I have caught it, it slips away leaving me with nothing left to say.

I imagine Elijah, sitting in the cave on the heals of his greatest spiritual victory and yet he is feeling sorry for himself and hiding from his own fears. He is looking for something that God doesn't want to give him. He is looking for something spectacular, but it is something small and insignificant that is used to catch his attention. Jonah ran from God and God caught a hold of him sending him reluctantly in the right direction, moving him forward to lead the greatest revival the world may have ever seen. But that wasn't enough to make Jonah happy. He went away and pouted, missing the greatness that God had done.

I have so many missed opportunities in my life. I so easily allow the distractions of my day to sweep me away and cause me to lose my inspiration. The truth is, I catch it in strange places, and I often find myself unprepared to do anything with it. I pray to remember the words that God has given me and yet they fade quietly into the recess of my mind. It leaves me hoping someday the color of ink will hit the page and those images will spring back to life, but alas, I think they are gone forever.

So how was it for the writers of scripture? When they sat down to record a story or write a letter, did they understand the significance of what they were doing? Did they ever miss their opportunity distracted by the cares of the world? Did they hear the voice of God actually speaking as they wrote or was it just thoughts going down on paper without any understanding that their words were going to be immortalized for eternity? When David wrote of his difficult time of despair and discouragement so great that his heart felt that it would burst- did he understand that those words were pointing a way to the Messiah? That he was actually feeling the feelings that His savior would feel in times to come? When Paul wrote his letters to Timothy or to the churches around the known world, was he aware of the fact that one day those letters would be bound together to effect the world forevermore? What must it have been like to hear the voice of God and write down the words He was telling them?

I think I can only have a glimpse of what it was they were feeling or thinking. I know that my words aren't scripture and they won't ever have the impact that the Peter's words have. I do know when however, the words aren't mine; when the images that flow from my brain to may paper can't possibly have anything to do with me. I become a catalyst, thankful that this time, the inspiration didn't pass me by.

Thank You Lord for 2010

Dear Jesus,

2010... who would have believed? I remember when I was younger and I thought about the 21st century. I actually thought I would be too old to enjoy it. What was I thinking? When Y2K came around, I wasn't even 40! The truth is, the first decade of 2000 has been when some of the biggest blessings of my life have come.

So as the first decade of this new century is coming to a close, I want to continue my practice of writing this thank you letter to my Savior and my best friend. (Thanks Julie K for teaching me this practice).

The year didn't start out with a great blessing... we were burglarized at the beginning of 2010. Though they didn't get much as far as the number of things, they did steal my feeling of safety and security. This year has seen many upgrades in the Hernandez household like a burglar alarm, new windows, a fence and replacing the items that were stolen. It has been an expensive year.

One of the greatest achievements and blessings has been our 6th wedding anniversary this year. Can you believe it? SIX years!! We haven't been completely sure that we would ever make it this far, but wow... what a great blessing my husband has been in my life. There are moments when I wonder, "What was I thinking? but the reality is that my marriage has been the single greatest blessing of my life. My husband, has grown to be such a good friend and faithful companion. He has loved me and walked with me through the trials of life that have plagued us and through the blessings of life that have carried us through.

Once again, I am thankful that 2010 ended with a job for me. I know so many people that in 2010 they faced the challenge of unemployment. Why God has been so merciful upon us, I don't understand, but I rejoice in it! Not only am I thankful that I have a job, I am thankful for my job. Teaching Kindergarten at Price School has been so rewarding. I am constantly learning new things through the eyes of the precious 5 year olds that are in my class. They have taught me to laugh at myself, to be patient, and to always look at the best side of a person. It is amazing how every year I come to love my students and I see the great potential they hold and I am in awe that God has given me the privilege to be a part of their life. I remember my kindergarten teacher very well, and I would like to think that my students will remember me with the same fondness I feel for Mrs. Bates.

I am thankful for my health. I had an old friend suffer a major illness this last year... final diagnosis- I haven't heard, but it put him in the hospital for several weeks and it gives me cause to say thank You Jesus that I am well. Also, the end of this year a dear friend and sister in the Lord began her battle with lymphoma. It came out of no where and it makes me thankful for the fact that God's hand has been upon my body and the body of my husband. I am also thankful that 2010 has continued to be a year of healthy living. Working out and eating right have continued to be a part of my daily life, (though if I am not careful, I will not be able to say that about 2011).

I am thankful that God has made His plan for the growing of our family a reality. We have started the adoption process and I am very excited about that. God gave me a promise a long time ago that I never let myself acknowledge until now. He promised me children "in my old age." The truth is, I let myself believe that my students were the subject of that promise, but I am now seeing the reality of the promise come to fruition. Hopefully 2011 will have a new Hernandez to rejoice over.

My life has changed a lot in the last decade and I sometimes miss the life that I had a single woman. Paul really knew what he was talking about when he stated that those that are married have to worry about pleasing their spouse and it takes away from the amount of time and energy that I can give to serving the Lord. But with marriage there is incredible blessings. I often am asked, "When are you coming back to ministry?" or "What happened to the 'old' Karen?" Well, I am still in the ministry, but my ministry is within my own family, my own household and it is very fulfilling. Sometimes I miss ministry outside my home, serving the church body, but I am fully committed to working the ministry inside my home first. Some people can do both, and I hope to be one of those people someday, but thankfully, God has given me contentment to serve just where I am.

I am thankful for the little pockets of time that I can carve out with my friends. Susan and I had a weekend away for the first time since I was married. That was a huge blessing. Not only a blessing to just sit and relax for awhile, but to share it together was so fantastic. It is just so great to spend time with a friend that knows you so completely you don't have to explain yourself. And every time we talk, it is like picking up a conversation from the day before even if it is has been longer since we actually talked. I love my friend and I am thankful to have her in my life even if the challenges and business of life make it difficult to see each other as much as we used to.

I am thankful for my family. They have been such a great support system for us and every time I spend time with them I rejoice that they are in my life. My dad celebrated his 74th bday (and is still working full time at his second career) this last year and I am extremely thankful for his health and for him! My mom has suffered some difficulties this year, but has walked through them with an increasing trust and certainty that God is still on the throne. I am thankful for her example of being a woman of prayer. Every time I am down or discouraged, she prays with me and I love that about her. Then of course, there is my brother. What can I say except I wish I could be him when I grow up! He is my hero in so many ways and I love him more than words can express.

Thank you Jesus for the many things that You have been teaching me this year. Thank you for the way that You have walked beside me, held my hand, and brought me through the hard stuff. Thank you for your provision and for the fact that You never give up on me when I am less than faithful to You!! I love You Jesus and above all, I am thankful for the way that You continue to work in my heart and my life and You continue to love me. I look forward to the day when I will be with You in Paradise, but until then, I am thankful for the days that You have given me here on earth.

I love You,

Karen

When the Message is Hard

1 Samuel 3:15-18 Samuel lay down until morning. Then he opened the doors of the LORD's house. He was afraid to tell Eli about the vision he had received. But Eli called out to him. He said, "Samuel, my son." Samuel answered, "Here I am." "What did the LORD say to you?" Eli asked. "Don't hide from me anything He told you. If you do, may God punish you greatly." So Samuel told him everything. He didn't hide anything from him. Then Eli said, "He is the Lord. Let him do what He thinks is best."

Dear Friend,

I love this passage. I love the way God spoke to Samuel though he was but a youth. I love that Eli accepted the message from young Samuel with such humility. God hadn't spoken to Eli (the priest) in quite a while and as the reader, I can understand why- there was sin in Eli's house that he was not willing to properly deal with, yet he heard and understood what God was saying. He was willing to accept that God is God. How difficult it is to hear something from the Lord that is hard. I often times wish I had never heard it, and sometimes I will wrestle with it before being obedient. (Am I alone?)

But there is a flip side to the passage that I really hate...sometimes the message that God is telling us isn't for us, it is to give to someone else and that is even harder. I don't know about you, but I don't want to come off as ____ (sanctimonious, judgemental, crazy... you fill in the blank). It is never easy to say the hard things to someone you love. What if God is calling you to tell someone that Jesus IS the only way? That their religion won't save them. That the lifestyle they have chosen is wrong. That they will spend an eternity in hell unless they repent and believe on the Lord. Or what if God is calling you to chastise a brother/sister? Are you willing to be like Samuel and say the hard things- without enjoying it.

There are two issues here that Samuel did right. First, he obeyed. It was the first time God spoke to him and he got it right the first time. He spoke the truth. He said what needed to be said. But he did it because he loved Eli. He did it with a loving heart and a desire to do the right thing. He didn't enjoy it.

I don't like to share the truth when it is painful. I have had victory in this area, and I have fallen very short. I wonder what would have happened in the ministry of Samuel if he had not chosen to do the right thing? Would God have blessed him as he did? Of course we will never know in the life of Samuel because he made the right choice. Like any other sin, when I refuse to obey, my heart is hardened to God's voice and at some point He may choose another messenger and I might lose out on a blessing. Isaiah gives us a really great promise: , "In repentance and rest you will be saved, in quietness and trust is your salvation" Oh how I love that! But wait, he wasn't done- the verse ends with, "But you were not willing." ouch! (Isaiah 30:15). O what a blessing I can find when I am willing, and what blessings am I losing out on because I'm not?

Reflections on 1 Samuel 1

1 Samuel 1:15b-16

"...I was telling the LORD all of my troubles. Don't think of me as an evil woman. I've been praying here because I'm very sad. My pain is so great."

I love that Hannah took her troubles to the Lord. She wanted children, she didn't have any for the Lord had closed her womb. The one desire of her heart, God was not fulfilling. Why does God not fulfill our Godly desires?

I was 40 when I was married. I wanted to be married before then, but God prevented it. I want to be a mother, but we have been married 7 years, and now I'm 47 and God has prevented me from becoming a mother. I would like to know why. I would like God to grant me the desires of my heart. So why not? Having children is a godly desire, but it isn't what God has for me.

We are now pursuing adoption. It isn't an easy process and I sometimes feel discouraged and overwhelmed by the whole process... Dear Jesus, what are you trying to teach me? What do you have for me? Will you speak to my situation, guide us in your will and make us to see what we have to do.

Thoughts on Psalm 33

January 4, 2011

Psalm 33:8-15

Let all the earth fear the LORD; let all the people of the world revere him. For he spoke, and it came to be; he commanded, and it stood firm. The LORD foils the plans of the nations; he thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations. Blessed is the nation whose God is the LORD, the people he chose for his inheritance. From heaven the LORD looks down and sees all mankind; from his dwelling place he watches all who live on earth-- he who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.

16 No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength. 17 A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save. 18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love, 19 to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. 20 We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. 21 In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. 22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you.

Have you ever thought about the things that have made you who you are? The good and the bad things; the right and wrong choices you have made; the circumstances that were perfect and the ones that were not; all of these things culminated to make you the person that you see in the mirror every morning.

Do you ever wonder how much of your life is really in God’s hands? Where does my freewill end and His sovereignty begin? Those wrong choices that I have made, the sins that I have committed, they are all a part of what makes me- me, but they weren’t all a part of God’s plan for my life. He didn’t plan my sin, but He knew about it, before I made the decision to sin.

I imagine my life as ruins; something that was so beautiful and so amazing that has become something it never was meant to be. Yet as ruinous as it is, it is good. God has made it good. He has made my life what He wanted. God makes something beautiful out of ashes, but what was it before it was ashes? Maybe it was something beautiful. There is good that comes from bad and bad that comes from good. All I can do is hope that the it all brings glory to the One that saved me